Behave rationally

We all need to predict the world around us, including what other people will say and do. By definition, if others cannot predict how we will act, they will define us as irrational and hence avoid or attack us. It thus makes sense for us to at least appear rational, even if our thoughts are inconsistent.

To be rational in the eyes of others, we first need to be able to explain our own actions to ourselves. We are our own greatest judges, and only we know the truth, although having said that we do suppress negative feelings even from ourselves (although this is not an ultimately winning strategy -- the stress of suppression often comes back to bite us).

A defensive way of being rational is to judge the rationality of others, thus setting ourselves up as authorities and hence automatic winners. Blaming people and situations is to attribute cause, which is itself a rational action.

A common way of rationally helping others suppress negativity is in face-saving. By not criticizing them in public (or even in private), we enable them not to appear as losers. This approach, which is particularly strong in many global cultures, counter-balances the tendency to blame. Where face-saving strong, there may be special situations reserved for where honest and critical feedback may be given. In companies this typically is the annual performance appraisal process, where after months of face-saving, the criticism can come as a huge shock.