The Quest for Change – Persuasion/Motivation

Persuasion, as a method via sermons, has proved to be an indispensible way to share the gospel. It is employed to help people drop their defenses, and allow the Holy Spirit to work in their heart. This method is aided by the extrinsic motivation of that same Holy Spirit working through the preacher. The preacher becomes the external source of motivation. When things go well, intrinsic motivation can fulfill its purpose because, although theology is complex, the gospel is a simple message.

     Point of Tension

At this point, prayerfully, the preacher’s words and the work of the Holy Spirit move the listeners to experience interjected motivation as the tension builds in their hearts and minds. They should come to a point of tension and realize their “lostness.” They should have a better understanding of their shortcomings. The persuasive sermon leads to this point. That tension comes in part due to the recognition of felt needs.

     Peter Says

The Apostle Peter tells us why, even after we are converted, we need to hear persuasive preaching,   

“¹²So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have” (NIV). 

    Felt or Not
Needs, felt or not, are shaped over time. Of all the needs that do develop throughout life, the need to affiliate seems to be the most common. It probably originated with the family unit and a sense of belonging. People desire harmonious relationships, and as a result they are subject to adjust their behavior to conform to the group, or seek approval from the group in which they wish to affiliate. In the church context in general, and the pastor-member relation in particular, people are happiest when the give-and-take within the relationship is equal. This quest for equality comes about from strong feelings about social norms about fairness. People tend to flourish service wise, spiritual wise, and interpersonal wise in church when they feel they are being spiritually fed. That feeling comes, first and foremost, from persuasive preaching. 

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973,   1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

To Be, or Not To Be

To be a Christian means to be counter-cultural, to stand out from the crowd, to not conform to the world around us. To be outside the “norm” is often frowned upon. As a matter of fact, most people will do almost anything to fit in. Remember Milgram’s experiment? Sometimes it is easy to see when someone is trying to conform, and sometimes it is not. 

There is a felt need to conform. It manifests itself in many forms, and is usually a result of a person’s desire to get along with others. People want to be accepted, and conformity is usually the quickest route. The Bible teaches that we are all descendants of Adam and Eve. It does not matter in the context of this paper whether we believe they were real people or representations in Hebrew poetry. Although I do believe in the more literal version, for this discussion they are an image that helps us to understand the origins of why people conform. If we are all inter-related as the Bible teaches, then the desire to go along in order to be accepted is an action based in our need to belong. Belonging also fulfills our need for consistency of behavior by saying, in essence, we are following the same rules as everyone else, and we are not a threat to the group. When we conform we help others by being more predictable in our behavior. Usually the overall outcome of conformity is an increase in our self-esteem because by conforming we have been accepted, and therefore we feel better about ourselves. In church this can become a mind numbing experience. I have seen members who take conformity to a dangerous level.

When members of the group (those who have conformed) obtain their identity from the group it becomes easy to overlook their own shortcomings. They find their self-worth from within the group, and with so much good going on with the group they will often relax their own standards and obtain a faulty self-image by live vicariously though others. The social impact theory tells us that people obtaining a faulty self-image, and making decisions they would not normally make is increased greatly with church size. The more people the more sheep-like they become. How important the group is to them only makes decision making worse, and a sense of belonging in a religious community is a strong motivator of behavior. However, there is a more insidious element to conforming to the extreme.

Group-think is probably the most dangerous trend we face as Christians, the church, and a nation. When conformity leads to a style of thinking where the maintenance of the group’s cohesion becomes the highest priority, dangerous thinking will usually result. Conformity that leads to unanimity as an overriding principle and motivation that acts as a filter through which everything the group does is passed thru can lead to disastrous outcomes. This is why we often see people from the church, and the political world, acting as if they are invincible, rationalizing what they do, believe they are correct in the face of facts to contrary, get upset when others point out their errors, and pressure others to conform to their beliefs. Over-conformists tend to be dogmatic (past convictions to insanity); they justify irrational behaviors, see themselves as morally superior to others, and will stereotype or vilify outsiders. Most of the time over conformity stems from pluralistic ignorance. That is when people adopt the norms of others even when they run in opposition to their own beliefs. For the sake of remaining within the allotted space, remember that to be a Christian does not mean we have to check our brains at the door. We are to love God with our heart, soul, and mind.

"It is not death that a man should fear, he should fear never beginning to live."
Marcus Aurelius

Are You Protecting Your Marriage?

The lead story in the news was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s infidelity. Apparently, he has fathered at least one child out-of-wedlock. There are likely more.

To be honest, this whole thing made me angry, especially when I consider the impact this had on his wife and children. He is also one more negative example for our own children and grandchildren.

After hearing about this story, my wife asked, “How does someone like Schwarzenegger engage in this behavior?” Great question. Off the top of my head, I offered this:

He had numerous opportunities.

He evidently thinks he is special—and entitled.

He is using his blood supply to power an organ other than his brain at the moment-of-temptation. (Yes, I really did say that.)

However, I don’t intend for this post to be a rant against Gov. Schwarzenegger.

I am not his judge. He will give an account of his choices—as I will mine.

But I want to go on the record and say this:

Adultery is not normal. It certainly isn’t inevitable. It is not the way God created us. We were made for monogamy and fidelity.

When we are loyal, we reflect the faithfulness of our Creator. When we are disloyal, we reflect the betrayal of both Satan and Adam. It is no wonder that the Bible often speaks of sin as “spiritual adultery.” Betrayal is the original sin.

However, we live in a fallen world—one that is increasingly indifferent to sexual sin. If we want to live and lead with intention, we can’t be naive. We must recognize the temptation adultery poses and protect ourselves accordingly. Nothing will destroy our influence and legacy faster than an affair.

If we are going to avoid becoming casualties, we must have a strategy. Here are three actions I take in order to protect my marriage:

I invest in my relationship with my wife. It is amazing to me that so many men are willing to invest such enormous spiritual, emotional, and financial resources in relationships other than the one they have. This doesn’t make economic sense. If you want your marriage to grow and flourish, you must invest in it. This means investing time—dreaming, laughing, listening, and crying together.

I set specific boundaries. This may sound old-fashioned, perhaps even legalistic.

So be it. I think our world could use a little old-fashioned common sense. 

Therefore:

I will not go out to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex.

I will not travel alone with someone of the opposite sex.

I will not flirt with someone of the opposite sex.

I will speak often and lovingly of my wife. (This is the best adultery repellant known to man.)

I consider what is at stake. 

What story do I want my children and grandchildren to tell?

 (I do not have grandchildren yet, but one day :-) )

This thought puts it in perspective for me. Do I want them to be proud of my life’s story or embarrassed? Do I want to be remembered as a person who loves his wife and is faithful to her? Or do I want to be the one who squandered his legacy in a moment of indiscretion?

It is time for real leaders to lead—not only in their professional lives but in their personal ones as well. If we can’t lead ourselves, we are not qualified to lead others. Character matters. We must take responsibility for our own actions. Our children and grandchildren are counting on it.

Question: What are you doing to protect your marriage?

TRUTH_Ravi Zacharias

Gene Simmons and Tim Tebow

Thanks Gene.

Everything Glorious

Leadership (vs Management) Part 1

Leading and managing are not necessarily synonyms. Some leaders can manage, but the converse is not as common. This is part 1 of a series on leading and managing.
This is a set of competencies identified by Boyatzis (1982). through critical incident research.

Efficiency orientation

Focusing on objectives, tasks and achievements. Setting challenging goals and supporting appropriate planning. Facilitating overcoming of obstacles. Encouraging people to act in this way.

Concern with impact

Demonstrating a significant interest in power and its symbols. Use of power-oriented behavior such as using various methods of influence, seeking positions of power, etc.

Proactivity

Showing a strong belief in individual self-control and self-driven action. Acting without waiting for full agreement or authorization. Taking responsibility for actions. Acting to dissuade defensive and risk-averse behavior. 

Self-confidence

Showing belief in self, values and ideas. Able to talk decisively and take confident and decisive action. Communicating this self-confidence to others and hence instilling confidence in them.

Oral presentation skill

Able to speak well, using effective language, modes of speech and body language. Uses effective symbolism and metaphor in words and actions. Appropriate use of visual aids.

Conceptualization

Uses inductive reasoning to identify patterns and relationships. Able to create models and symbols to communicate these concepts. Uses synthetic and creative thinking to develop further ideas and solutions.

Diagnostic use of concepts

Able to use deductive reasoning to convert models and ideas into specific instances and possibilities. Concepts are turned into practical and useful tools.

Use of socialized power

Developing networks and hierarchies of people and mobilizing them to to achieve specific ends. Acts as a person in the middle to resolve conflicts and bring people together. 

Managing group processes

Building the identity of groups and people in them. Building common goals and objectives. Developing group roles. Creating ways of working together and facilitating teamwork.




Historia est vitae magistra 
History is the tutor of life

T


Boyatzis, R.E. (1982). The Competent Manager, NY: Wiley