Choosing Yourself Even When You Feel Unworthy

Choosing Yourself Even When You Feel Unworthy
©2025 BTMT-TJ

I have always struggled with making mistakes. When I slip up, even in small ways, I tend to fall into long cycles of guilt. I replay the moment endlessly, wondering why I reacted the way I did, feeling disappointed in myself for not handling it better.

Eventually the guilt settles and I find my way back to self-love. I remind myself that I am human, that imperfection is part of the deal. Yet it has never felt natural to love myself in the middle of emotional discomfort. It feels much easier to aim for flawless behavior than to sit with the truth of who I am.

Being real still scares me sometimes. It requires the willingness to feel messy emotions. It requires space for anger, sadness, embarrassment, or fear. For a long time, I treated all those experiences as things I needed to clean up before I deserved compassion.

I thought I needed to “fix” myself before I could love myself.

I was wrong.

When the storm passes and the emotions soften, loving myself feels simple again. Happiness makes self-love easy. Gratitude makes self-love easy. Calm makes self-love easy.

The challenge lies in loving ourselves when we feel ashamed, guilty, or overwhelmed. That is where the real work begins.

The truth is that self-love is not a reward we earn for being perfect. It is not a prize we unlock when we are finally strong, centered, or spiritually polished. Self-love is a practice. It is steady. It is ongoing. It is something we come back to again and again, especially in moments when we believe we do not deserve it.

Self-love is progress, not perfection.

It continues every second, every minute, every day. It does not take a break simply because we are disappointed in ourselves. It does not disappear until we get it together. It remains available, even when we do not know how to receive it.

When I make mistakes, my thoughts often spiral. I look for quick fixes. I try to outrun the discomfort. Yet what would happen if I stopped for one moment and let myself feel everything as it is?

The heart stays open when we allow ourselves to be human. The heart becomes stronger when it loves through self-doubt instead of waiting for self-confidence to return. That is the power of real self-love. It holds us while we are hurting. It welcomes the parts of us that feel unworthy. It gives us room to grow without demanding perfection.

Growth happens when we fall and rise again. It happens when we understand that we will fall again someday, yet still choose to rise.

That is self-love. That is how we honor our worth, even when it feels fragile.

So the next time you make a mistake, ask yourself: What story will I tell about this moment? Will I reach for shame, or will I reach for growth?

Choosing growth means choosing self-love.

Choosing self-love means choosing yourself — fully, freely, and without conditions.

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