My story is not so different...

 I finally sat down to watch one of my favorite movies, the kind that once belonged to tradition. It was something we used to gather around as a family at Christmas, a familiar story wrapped in warmth and ritual. Watching it alone now landed differently. The quiet made everything louder.
Today, like so many other times, I did not just watch the story. I recognized myself in it.
I understood what it means to have a life shaped by interruptions. To have dreams deferred not because they were impossible, but because responsibility kept stepping in front of them. Over the years, so many forces redirected my path. Obligation. Loyalty. Love. The steady pull of being needed. I built a life defined by care for others, by showing up, by sacrificing without keeping score. I did a great deal, and I am proud of that. But I also gave up more than most people ever saw.
For a long time, I believed that was simply the cost of being good, of being reliable, of being loved. I stayed where I was planted. I became the version of myself that fit everyone else’s needs. And in doing so, I slowly disappeared from my own life.
When I finally chose myself—when I made the decision to do what I needed in order to stay alive, to follow my heart rather than silence it—the response was not relief or understanding. It was distance. It was rejection. The very people I had poured myself into could not accept the version of me that no longer bent.
I am not telling this story for sympathy. I do not need it, and I do not want it. I am telling it as a warning.
Be careful what you wish for. The life you settle for may arrive quietly and feel noble at first. It may look like love, duty, or doing the right thing. But if it costs you your own voice, your own becoming, the price may be far higher than you imagined.
Living for others can feel safe. Living on your own terms can feel terrifying. But the alternative—waking up one day and realizing you lived someone else’s dream at the expense of your own—is far worse.
Choose wisely. Choose early. And do not wait until the room is empty and the screen is flickering in the dark to realize what it cost you not to.
©2025 TJackson 

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