Why did you leave one church for another?

Church hopping is an example of the overall instability of our culture. It reflects a deeply troubling trend of how easily people slide in and out of commitments. “Commitment” is a revisable term at best and an increasingly negative concept to many. Reflecting the prevailing discontentment in our culture, people are endlessly looking for something better. But better, often means more exciting, entertaining; more satisfying to the ruling self.

In an article entitled “Confessions of a (Recovering) Church-hopper”, John Fischer acknowledged that, “In our free-market, commodity-rich society, it’s understandable that we would approach church as we would a shopping mall of spiritual products and services. This is the way our culture operates. In our hymnals we can still find those great hymns of the church like ‘A Mighty Fortress’ and ‘The Church’s One Foundation,’ but in our worship and practice we are probably more consistent with the Motown hit ‘You Better Shop Around.’”

Fischer describes the following scene from a church-hopping family: “‘Where shall we go this morning, dear?’ he says. ‘The music is great at Calvary but I like the teaching at Grace.’ ‘Don’t forget the kids,’ she says. ‘The youth program at Bethany is the best of all.’ ‘I’ve got it. We’ll drop the kids off at Bethany and go to Grace for teaching, and then we can start going to the Saturday night worship and praise services at Calvary.’”

What’s wrong with this picture? Fischer suggests at least three things:

First, we become critical consumers. “As consumers we reserve the right to pass judgment on the products and services we use, and the companies that service us begin to cater to our demands. ‘The customer is always right’ may work well at McDonald’s, but in a church it undermines the authority of the Word of God and the leaders God has called to represent Him. We do not go to a particular church to decide whether that church is doing everything right, but to hear from God and humbly find out where we went wrong that week in our own lives and what we need to do to make it right.”

Second, we become invisible spectators. “Church-hopping turns you into a nondescript pew-sitter. A number. A statistic. When you’re shopping around, you never stay in one place long enough to know anybody or be known. We like this because we have gotten into a habit of being anonymous in our culture. Church-hopping helps protect anonymity we already possess, and it keeps us alone.”

Third, we become detached from what we are. “When you were a child, did you ever make a church with your hands folded together, forefingers pointed up like a steeple and all your fingers interlocked inside? Remember opening your hands to see all the people? Well, that’s exactly it. We are the church. You and I are the fingers and toes and eyes and ears of the body of Christ. To be only a spectator in church is to detach yourself from who you are — like cutting off your fingers.”

Are there ever good reasons for leaving a church? Yes.

However, leaving a Church should not be taken lightly. Even when one has good reasons for leaving a Church, it should be done in a respectful manner. 

Pastors should also be careful about receiving those who “hop” their way. When church hoppers hop your way and gush praise all over you (while criticizing their former church), it’s often only a matter of time before they leave your Church with the same critical attitude. Church-hoppers should remember the old advice, “If you find a perfect church, don’t join it because you’ll ruin it.”

TJ