Normal Family?

“Normal” seems to be a moving target when discussing the family. Walsh claims that “normal” is not useable category when trying to describe the family and that family should be defined more in terms of markers present. 

I believe that cultural shifting probably plays some role in what most people consider a normal family. The basic Christian belief that all humans are created in the image of God, and therefore equally valuable before God, should be the mantra that equalizes the differences between. 

 However, societal/cultural shifting concerning the value and dignity of human life has contributed to the diminishing role of this Christian belief. Culture has shifted to more of a comparative view of people, and when we compare ourselves to each other we soon find that no family is “normal.”

The thought process behind comparing, whether we understand it or not, views people more in terms of worthiness, honor, success, and just about any other attribute we might inject into the comparison.

I’m off the soap-box now.

Assessing normality seems to be a very arduous task. Do we base our evaluation of a family on sociological, psychological, or biological factors? What I have learned is that to properly evaluate a family one must include all of the above to varying degrees. From a secular point of view, families need to be groups that provide for the basic needs of the members of the group such as food, money, shelter, psychological support, and problem solving. 

However, I might offer a few thoughts about what constitutes a “normal” family. I would suggest the idea that normal families can have some minor problems and even major problems although these should be few. “Normal” families can have communication problems, and they often will. The reason, I suggest, is that although God created everything and called it “Good.” Man (and woman) fell into sin, and therefore no matter how perfect a family may seem, there will never be a perfect family situation. We are not capable of normal. 

So, how do I define “normal?” “Normal” is the family that a midst all of life’s struggles, including social, psychological, and biological, strive to maintain God’s original design for the family (one man / one woman / and wherever that leads). It also includes Christ-like behavior toward those within the family group, and to those outside the family group.

Assuming you subscribe to the traditional model, with changing ideas about what a traditional family looks like how would you help a client understand the value of the traditional model? 

Do you think that many have just given up trying to maintain a traditional family? 

If so, why?

TJ