Great Song. Give it a Listen. "Cannons"

8 Surefire Ways to Destroy Relationships

1. Be verbally abusive: As well as physical abuse, this includes put-downs, sarcasm, negative comments, withholding affection, stonewalling, refusing to talk, and repeatedly threatening to leave the relationship.

2. Be defensive: Individuals who are always on the defensive are so wrapped up in protecting themselves that they rarely grow in their relationships. They won’t admit that they have faults and so end up committing the same mistakes again and again. This eventually destroys the relationship.

3. Be overly critical: While there’s a place for the occasional critical remark, if you’re always complaining and pointing out their flaws then you’ll soon undermine the self-esteem of others. In all areas of life, a critical person is an unattractive person.

4. Need to always be right: If you’re always right, the other person’s always wrong – and who wants to feel that they have nothing to contribute, or their point of view is stupid, unwanted and wrong.

5. Be narcissistic and selfish: The person who always has to have their own way, or who’s only interested in their own needs and desire has little to add to a relationship.

6. Be dishonest: Trust is at the heart of all good relationships. If you can’t be real and honest, or are not dependable, then there’s no foundation for a strong relationship. This includes being unfaithful or hiding the whole truth.

7. Be judgmental: If you’re quick to judge others or to put people down, or you think that you are better than everybody else (more intelligent, prettier, cooler etc) then you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartache. For although we all have strengths, and we may excel at times, each person is unique and is worthy of respect.

8. Be controlling: A relationship is a gift. The other person is not your property. They are allowed to be themselves, with their own views and beliefs. They don’t answer to you; they don’t have to change themselves; they are autonomous and free – they are not there to be controlled.


t

6 Obstacles to Being Successful

1. Seeing success as being determined by external factors. (So if I fail it’s circumstances or someone else’s fault.) This takes away my sense of power and keeps me stuck in failure and helplessness.

2. Personal blind spots. Sometimes we keep failing but we’re blind to the fact that there’s something we’re doing that is causing us to fail. That could be related to our communication style, our attitudes, lack of knowledge and ability, pursuing something that doesn’t suit our gifts and talents, and so on. 

3. Self sabotage. Sometimes we don’t feel we deserve to succeed so unconsciously we do something that causes us to fail. This includes meditating on self-limiting thoughts (“I could never …; I don’t deserve …”).

4. Feeling ambivalent about the goals you’ve set. We often set a goal that is someone else’s goal so we’re not really sure if it’s what we want ourselves. That affects our motivation, and our will to succeed.

5. Fear of change. All successes bring some change – and that can feel quite threatening. And we’re often comfortable with our life as it is now – and so we wonder if success will really make us happier.

6. Pressure from others who don’t want you to succeed. It’s very common for our peers to be threatened by success. Hence, we don’t try our hardest as we recognize the cost will be social isolation, or rejection by our friends.


t

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

1. The Constant Victim - This kind of individual will always finds a way to end up as a victim in their relationships.

2. One-Upsmanship Expert – This person uses put downs, snide remarks and criticisms, to show that they’re superior, and know much more than you.

3. Powerful Dependents – They hide behind the mask of being weak and powerless – then use their helplessness to dominate relationships. That is, they send the subtle message “you must not let me down.”

4. Triangulators – This person tries to get other people on their side. They’re quick to put you down, and to say some nasty things. They separate good friends or drive a wedge in families.

5. The Blasters – They blast you with their anger or they blow up suddenly. That stops you asking questions - in case there’s a showdown.

6. The Projector – This person thinks they’re perfect and others have the flaws. They take no ownership – because they’re never, ever wrong. 

7. The Deliberate Mis-Interpreter – They seem like a nice person – but they twist and use your words. They spread misinformation and misinterpret you. Thus, they deliberately present you in a false, negative way.

8. The Flirt – This person uses flirting to get their way in life. They want to be admired and to have an audience. However, your feelings and your needs are of no concern to them.

9. The Iron Fist – They use intimidation and throw their weight around, to use you for their ends, and to get their way in life.

10. The Multiple Offender – This person uses several of the techniques we’ve described – and they’ll often switch between them if it suits their purposes.

t

10 Thoughts That Will Help You Make Better Decisions

1. What strategies have you used before , and which were the most beneficial in making the right choice?

2. What is your gut instinct? What is your intuition?

3. Which of the options is most attractive to you?

4. Will you feel proud if you decide to take this step?

5. How will it affect the other people in your life?

6. If it was a friend who was making the decision, what questions would you ask them? What advice would you offer?

7. What’s the worst thing that could happen, and what are the chances that this will be the outcome? How would you cope in that outcome occurred?

8. Do you have to talk yourself into making the decision? If you do, then it is possible you’re making a mistake.

9. How does it line up with your beliefs, values, purposes, and goals? Does it help to move you forward, and will the decision bring you closer to your dreams?

10. How will you feel when you look back in ten years time? 


t