Thomas Sowell

If you do not own his books 
          you are choosing to remain in the dark.
                     He is pure brilliance.

TJ

Optical Illusion

There's an optical illusion that's easy to fall for, even if you know the trick. The more distant you are from other people, the more invulnerable they appear.

You see yourself as you are, with your flaws just as clear as your successes, but you see most other people on their terms, only from the side they present to the world, stoic and confident. And at first glance they've got everything figured out, with everything set in stone, securely embedded in their community, wrapped up with their loved ones, their lives like a finished work of art.

But it's only just a trick of perspective: everyone else seems to be doing better than you, because you can't see the cracks from so far away. How insecure their footing, how malleable they really are. How many years of effort went into shaping their persona into something acceptable, how many other hands it took to build their lives, which are still only ever a work in progress.

It's the kind of basic human vulnerability that we'd all find familiar, but is still somehow surprising when we notice it in others. It's an open question why we have such public confidence, and such private doubts.

Maybe that contradiction is what keeps us moving, wanting to be more than what we are, and never be satisfied. Maybe it lets us keep our distance, to avoid too much friction as we brush past each other. Or maybe it's what draws us together, the only irreplaceable thing we still need each other for, just one last excuse to keep stopping by, so we can prop each other up, and remind us that nothing is set in stone, not even who we are, or who we pretend to be.

TJ

Difference Between The Actor and Observer

We tend to see other people’s behaviors as being caused by their personal disposition, while perceiving our own actions as due to situational factors.

We also tend to see ourselves as being less stable and predictable, while others are assumed to be more one-dimensional, with less possible behaviors.

This can be due to the fact that we have far more consistency and distinctiveness data about ourselves than observers have. That is, we know better how and why our behavior varies between different situations. People watching us have to guess.

The effect can be reversed when we put ourselves in the place of the other person, such as when we like them. In these cases, we will make dispositional attributions.
We will also reverse the actor/observer difference when we are making negative conclusions. We thus make situational attributions when we make mistakes and dispositional attributions when other people do something reprehensible.

Beware of causing conflict and losing trust by making internal attributions about other people who are likely to be making external attributions about their own behavior. Demonstrate empathy by putting yourself in their place.

TJ

Expectancy Violations

We predict the future based on our schemas and other beliefs we have formed. Having made the prediction, we then expect our predictions to come true. When they do not, an expectancy violation has occurred.

What happens next is that we are surprised. This draws us in, capturing our attention as we try to understand what has happened and perhaps modify our schema to cope with this new situation.

Socially, we have expectations about how other people should and will behave. Our reaction to the deviations of others from expectancy depends on what we have to lose or gain. 

How we react to violations depend on reward value, or what we expect to get from the relationship. Thus a man is likely to react more positively towards an attractive younger woman standing close than a larger man from an out-group.

TJ

What Is Your Story?

Your life is a story. The days flip past, too quickly to absorb, a mess of seemingly random events. So you look back and highlight certain moments as important, as turning points in the main plot. You trace each thread back to its origin, finding omens and ironies scattered along the way, until it all feels inevitable, and your life makes sense. You know how this story is going to end, but you’re still eager to skip ahead, dying to know what happens next.

But there are times when you look up and realize that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore. You thought you were following the arc of the story, but you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand. Either everything seems important or nothing does. It’s a tangled mess of moments that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre, that keeping changing depending on what you choose to highlight.

What kind of story is this? Just another coming-of-age tale, the same one your parents told, with the names switched around? Is your everyday life part of the origin story of something truly epic? Are you unwittingly getting by on other people’s charity, mistaking your own luck for your own success? Are you a character in a romance, a tragedy, a travelogue, or just another cautionary tale?

As you thumb through the years, you may never know where this all is going. The only thing you know is that there’s more to the story. That soon enough you’ll flip back to this day looking for clues of what was to come, rereading all the chapters you skimmed through to get to the good parts—only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

TJ

COMPARISON TRAP PT 1 - FULL MESSAGE

15 Important Life Lessons

1. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at your mistakes.

2. Life is too short it to waste it on resentments, bitterness or grudges you’re holding against others.

3. You don’t have to win every argument and fight. Sometimes it’s OK to just agree to disagree.

4. Make peace with your past - then let it go, and move on. 

5. Choose to go after what brings you happiness.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others. 

7. It doesn’t really matter what others think about you – be true to who you are. 

8. Life isn’t always fair – but sometimes good things happen, too! 

9. Try to ignore your feelings – and keep taking the next step.

10. Ask for what you want. 

11. Don’t suffer in silence – reach out for support. 

12. Everything changes. 

13. Be willing to experiment and try something new. 

14. The most important thing is to love and be loved. 

15. Believe that the best is yet to come.

TJ

BEAUTIFUL JESUS 01312016a

Why We Like People Like Us

Confirmation Bias:

We love to agree with people who agree with us. 

It's why we only visit websites that express our political opinions, and why we mostly hang around people who hold similar views and tastes. 

We tend to be put off by individuals, groups, and news sources that make us feel uncomfortable or insecure about our views — what the behavioral psychologist B. F. Skinner called cognitive dissonance. 

It's this preferential mode of behavior that leads to the confirmation bias — the often unconscious act of referencing only those perspectives that fuel our pre-existing views, while at the same time ignoring or dismissing opinions — no matter how valid — that threaten our world view. 

And paradoxically, the internet has only made this tendency even worse.

TJ

Should I Post on Facebook?????

Everyone is turning to Facebook to find out more about you: prospective employers, college admission officers, business partners; there has even been talk of insurers checking Facebook before issuing life policies to see if applicants indulge in risky behavior or partake in dangerous sports!
Even if you think you have your Facebook privacy settings nailed down, you never know where your posts and photos will end up. You have no control over what your friends do with them, and it only takes a few ‘Likes’ for a post to be seen by hundreds of people you’ve never heard of.
There is only one sure-fire way to stay out of trouble, and that’s not to post anything inappropriate or controversial in the first place. But what kind of posts are we talking about? What are the things that we could post online that might come back to bite us?
Well, the list is almost endless, but here’s just a few things that are better left unsaid:

1. How much you hate your job

If there is anything guaranteed to quickly put you among the ranks of the unemployed, it’s going on Facebook to complain about your job. Complaining about your job in this economic environment will be seen as ungrateful and disloyal, and it will not win you many friends inside or outside the office!

2. Embarrassing pictures of other people

It may seem like a good prank to post embarrassing pictures of other people on Facebook, but what might start out as a bit of fun can quickly go wrong. Everyone’s Facebook motto should be “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If you wouldn’t want those pictures of you circulating on the Internet, then be a good friend and share them privately or not at all.

3. Your birth year

Or your home address, or telephone number, or mother’s maiden name – or anything else that could be used to put your personal or financial security at risk. Sophisticated criminals need very little to steal a person’s identity and many trawl Facebook because that kind of information is so readily available. Do yourself a favor and don’t post any personal information other than your name and birth date – without the year!

4. Strong political opinions

Nobody’s saying you can’t have them, it’s just that very few people want to read them on Facebook. Plus, one-paragraph opinions on a social network can easily be taken out of context or misinterpreted. Why risk alienating friends? Facebook activity should be kept friendly and light. Don’t post politically charged comments and don’t respond to other people who do.

5. Curse words

Again, all it takes is one slip and your reputation can be ruined. What may have seemed like a funny post late at night can look awkward and offensive in the cold light of day. Don’t risk offending your colleagues, friends, or your favorite aunt. Keep it clean!

6. Other people’s big news

If your Facebook friends have big news to announce, let them do the announcing. There is nothing worse than Dad jumping the gun and letting the whole world know that Junior got accepted into that north-eastern university, or Mom telling all her friends that she’s finally going to be a grandma. Let others control their own Timelines and make sure that they get to break their own big news.

7. Details of your vacation

Want to invite burglars to break into your house? Announce to everyone on Facebook that you’re going on a two-week cruise. The police and FBI can tell you that Facebook is increasingly used by criminals to identify potential victims, and not just for identity theft or cyber scams. You may be proud of your 500+ friend list, but with that many, there are bound to be a few bad apples. Letting everyone know that your house is going to be empty is an invitation to be robbed!

8. Posts intended to make others envious

We know you’re proud of your brand new Porsche or that diamond necklace you got for your birthday, but some things are better kept to yourself. While there is nothing to be ashamed of in achieving goals and enjoying some good fortune, others might not be so lucky. (Plus, you might not want to tell everyone about the recently acquired 70-inch HDTV or fine artwork for other reasons – see 7 above.)

9. Drinking photos

Whether you are single and in college or happily married with three kids, you might want to tone it down on the drinking photos. And be especially careful if you are in college because you are still a reflection Mom and Dad!

10. TMI (Too much information)

Whatever you post, keep it appropriate and don’t include details that you don’t want the whole world to know. If you would only tell a handful of close friends about the details of your annual check-up then it has no business on Facebook. When it comes to posting online, the less information the better!



TJ

Meaningless

Meaningless, Meaningless,

                  All Is Meaningless!

Said the writer of Ecclesiastes.

I think I understand where he was coming from.

Solomon and Sisyphus actually came to the same understanding of meaninglessness by way of experience:

Monotony finds no relief in adding variety or changing our attitude about it. Activity does not create meaning; it is the other way around.

If life, existentially speaking, has no meaning, then a change of attitude does not change the reality of meaninglessness. It only changes how we function in a meaningless world, which was exactly Jean Paul Sartre’s point in his book No Exit.

What difference does it make, when the boat is going down, if you stand on the deck and salute or just sit back down and play a last game of poker?

Dum vita est, spes est.“While life is, hope is.”
Or
“While there is life, there is hope.”



TJ

What is Useful?

“Useful” is a very interesting word. My truck is useful, my computer is useful, and my tools are useful.

Is religion useful?

As I have read and studied about ancient Greece and Rome I have noticed something interesting. It is said that, all religions were, to the common people, equally true, to the philosophers, equally false, and to the governing bodies, equally useful.

There is that interesting word “useful.”
The way ancient governing bodies used the word “useful” was similar to how one might have used a fence to keep the livestock contained, or, in reality, like a boundary to keep society in check.

An important point to remember is; religion based on truth, when reduced to only a sociological function [usefulness], will disintegrate through abuse.

Which leads to this conclusion:
History shows us that pragmatism [a variation of usefulness], defined by doing whatever works, in the long run doesn’t work because it is captive to the moment.


Omnes viae Romam ducunt
“All roads lead to Rome”

TJ

LIFE 101

FAMILY

TJ

Worldview and Identity

“It is not natural to see man as a natural product, it is not seeing straight to see him as an animal. It is not sane. It sins against the light, against the broad daylight of proportion, which is the principle of all reality” (Chesterton, G. K.) 

 

An accurate worldview might best be defined as one that conforms to reality, or said another way, the one that harmonizes the makeup and/or the character of the human understanding as we know it. Upon years of study, the Christian worldview appears to be the only view to withstand close scrutiny. The Bible tells us “God created man in His own image,…male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27, NASB). 

So when discussing worldview and identity beginning at the very beginning is a must, and in the beginning humans were created in a way as to reflect the character of the Creator of the entire universe and source of ultimate meaning. 

From the history books we can learn that prior to the settling of North America most cultures held a low view of the individual, and considered the individual secondary to the interest of the ethnic group. However, the multicultural worldview today is a direct descendant of the idea of ethnic group first and individual second. This type of collectiveness mindset has continued to cause major problems within the dominant culture that was based more on the individual first. Now it should be mentioned here that individual first ideas can be, and have been, equally destructive within the framework of worldview. 

The Bible teaches that all human beings have an eternal destination. It also teaches that all human beings will stand before God. On these two facts most professing Christians can, or should, be able to agree. My personal worldview is expressed foundationally by the facts that all human beings are equal before God, and all human beings are accountable to God for their decisions and choices. Any worldview that does not adhere to these foundational principles will most likely lead to destructive and derisive behaviors and beliefs. 

The proper Christian worldview recognizes humans as created in the image of God, that they have dignity, life is sacred, and there is meaning and purpose in every human life.

TJ

Signs of a Failing Leader

#1 – He refuses to admit his mistakes.

#2 – He begins to blame the problems on people or circumstances rather than actually seeking out what the problem might be.

#3 – He refuses to listen to the team assembled around him. 

#4 – He fights every idea that isn’t his own, thinking his originality is what must keep the church afloat.

#5 – He refuses to face reality. 

#6 – He is unwilling to make the necessary changes because it would be highly unpopular.

#7 – He tries to listen to what everyone has to say about every situation. 

#8 – He begins to believe that God’s favor on his life is because of how good he is rather than because of how good God is! 

#9 – He believes that he can’t learn anything from churches that are smaller than his.  (This would be arrogance!)

#10 – He abuses his staff to accomplish his agenda rather than leading them to accomplish God’s. 

#11 – He fears asking for commitment because of how people may perceive him.

#12 – He becomes obsessed with the way things are rather than how they should be.

#13 – He views himself as an expert.

#14 – He tries to motivate with fear rather than vision.

#15 – He doesn’t seek fresh revelation from God and often goes back to what has been done instead of seeking direction for what has never been done.

#16 – He stops taking risks and becomes obsessed with playing it safe.

What do you do if someone struggles in these areas? Galatians 6:1-2:

"My friends, if someone is caught in any kind of wrongdoing, those of you who are spiritual should set him right; but you must do it in a gentle way. And keep an eye on yourselves, so that you will not be tempted, too. ² Help carry one another's burdens, and in this way you will obey^[a] the law of Christ."

TJ

Perceptions

When Jesus taught us, using the beatitudes, he demonstrated that truth is not always what we believe it to be! Indeed, it is most often, the opposite. How can we help others to understand that our perceptions drive us to act and form judgment, and how this leads to our own detriment? 

 When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. ² He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

⁴ “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

⁵ “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

⁶ “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

⁷ “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

⁸ “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

⁹ “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

¹⁰ “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:1-12 NASB

The Poet William Blake said, "When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite." The reality of what he said was possibly more profound than he knew at the time, or maybe it was not. I do not know the depths of his religious or spiritual thoughts or beliefs might have been, but whatever the case he was very close to the real truth. Having been created by God, who is an infinite being, we do not have a comprehensive or exhaustively infinite insight into reality, but we can know the Creator who does. God gave us 2 eyes so we could not only see, but that we might also have depth perception. Depth perception gives us the ability to see everything visually as they truly appear. If our depth of field is impaired the result is that some things we see up close might be in focus, but other aspects of what we see (things not right in front of us) will be out of focus (or not true to reality). If we try to live independently without God, and in turn try to interpret reality apart from God we will become fixed on those things that are affecting us at each moment. Being fixated like this will cause us to often miss the bigger picture of what God has planned, done, or is in the process of doing in our life and the world around us. The "Now Generation" is a great, although sad, example of not being able to see past the present. Shortsightedness in God's economy will almost always lead to strife, hard times, misunderstandings, and discontentment. These are the hallmarks of not seeking the assistance of the One who is infinite to see the truth that is reality. As created human beings who desperately desire our lives to be consistent and free from trouble, we will go to great lengths to reject a message that implies we’re wrong.

I will end this post here:

Some early studies concerned with prejudice show that we’re quite capable of reordering our perceptions of the world around us in order to maintain our conviction that we’re right. A group of white, middle-class New York City residents were presented with a picture of people on a subway. Two men were in the foreground. One was white, one was black. One wore a business suit, one was clothed in workman’s overalls. One was giving his money to the other who was threatening him with a knife. Now as a matter of fact it was the black man who wore the suit, and it was he who was being robbed by the white laborer. But such a picture didn’t square with the prejudices of the viewers. To them, white men were executives, black men were blue collar workers. Blacks were the robbers, whites the victims. And so they reported what their mind told them they saw—that a black laborer was assaulting a white businessman.

(Griffin, 1976)
 

TJ

Forgiveness

"3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
Matthew 7:3-5

"14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matthew 6:14-15

These are possibly the most forgotten words from Jesus among believers today. Comparing ourselves to others, and pointing out their shortcomings usually stems from our inability to understand the grace we have received from God. If we cannot extend grace, it could be evidence that we might have never received grace. Each must examine their own heart.


TJ