Understanding
another person is perhaps the second most difficult thing to do (the most
difficult thing is understanding yourself).
People are driven by complex and
deep motivations, that if you can understand you can support and shape.
They have limited capabilities and
are shaped by past events in their lives - many of the early ones of which may
have been, at the time, traumatic.
They infer meaning that is different
from what is really happening and formulate intent using faulty logic and decision
processes.
They have differing preferences that
lead them to behave as different 'personality types'.
...and all you need to do is
understand all this.
I'm glad you asked!
Always spend as much time as
possible trying to understand people so that you can explain their past
actions and predict their likely future actions.
Demonstrating your understanding,
when coupled with care and concern, is a powerful way of building trust.
When talking with them, use the same
language and models as they do, so they can understand what you say in their own
terms.
You can also use your understanding
to build tension and, therefore, persuade them.
TJ
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