Showing posts with label others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label others. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2017
Unpacking Boxes
You tell the world who you are
in a million different ways.
Some are subtle, some are not.
But it doesn't seem to matter:
this world has already got you pegged.
When you were born they put you in a little box,
and slapped a label on it.
So they could keep things organized,
and not have to think about what’s inside.
Over time you learn to make yourself comfortable
packaging your identity in different combinations
until you feel like you belong,
and can wear your labels proudly.
But there’s a part of you that never really found a home
rattling around in categories that couldn’t do you justice.
You look around at other people,
trying to judge how loosely they fit in their own lives
sensing a knot of confusion hidden beneath a name tag.
And you realize we’re still only strangers,
who assume we already know what the other is going to say,
as if the only thing left to talk about is
who belongs in what category
and which labels are offensive.
You have to wonder if these boxes are falling apart.
If we should be writing our identities by hand,
speaking only for ourselves, in our own words,
taking our chances out in the open
and meet each other as we are,
asking: “What is it like being you?”
—and be brave enough to admit
that we don’t already know the answer.
Maybe it’ll mean that we’ve finally arrived,
just “unpacking the boxes”
making ourselves at home.
And maybe we’ll look back and wonder
how we managed to live in the same house for so long,
and never stop to introduce ourselves.
TJ
Labels:
belief,
life,
living,
others,
self-aware,
self-efficacy,
self-image,
who you are
Friday, January 1, 2016
Understanding Others
We commonly believe that we understand others better than they understand us.
The rationale for this stems from our external, objective viewpoint and the assumption that the other person has a significant blind-self, while our own blind-self is small.
There is also asymmetry in the reverse situation -- we believe we understand ourselves better than others understand us and may feel insulted if they try to show they understand us more than we do.
The same effect happens for groups, where the in-group believes they understand out-groups better than out-groups understand them.
Overall, this is a position where we generally assume we know more than others, perhaps because we know more about what we know.
TJ
The rationale for this stems from our external, objective viewpoint and the assumption that the other person has a significant blind-self, while our own blind-self is small.
There is also asymmetry in the reverse situation -- we believe we understand ourselves better than others understand us and may feel insulted if they try to show they understand us more than we do.
The same effect happens for groups, where the in-group believes they understand out-groups better than out-groups understand them.
Overall, this is a position where we generally assume we know more than others, perhaps because we know more about what we know.
TJ
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Tuesdays with Morrie 01
“There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what
we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You
have to be honest with yourself. You don't need the latest sports car,
you don't need the biggest house. The truth is, you don't get
satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you
satisfaction?...Offering others what you have to give...I don't mean
money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's
not so hard.”
Mitch Albom
Mitch Albom
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