AUTHENTIC LIFE - Notes From a Pandemic

 

Self-Centered - Notes From a Pandemic

 

CHALLENGES - Notes From a Pandemic

 

The Truth About Life …

Things never, ever go according to your plan because you’ll always have unexpected snags and obstacles. There are unforeseen things that will pop up, at the most inopportune moments, and send you in a direction you never expected to go.

Not everyone will like you or want to be your friend and that is okay. Really, it is okay to not be friends with everyone. It is hard enough to tell real friends from false friends until a need arises and they are no where to be found or they toss you aside when you are no longer useful to them.

We all lose motivation and want to ditch our dreams. Remember this, success is transitory – the happiness you feel when you are winning will pass. However, that is the moment that truly successful people step up and keep moving forward.

We all get disappointed and let down by our friends, but remember, attitude is everything – we choose how to react. There’s always something good, if we will only look for it. Life is full of chances, new beginnings and fresh starts.

It is never too late to be who you might have been.

TJ

How to Start Loving Who You Are

1. Start by being kind and gentle with yourself. There are plenty of people who would love to criticize … So be your own protector and your own best friend.

2. Choose self-love over self-hatred. Many people find they drift back and forth between these two extremes – but over time gravitate more towards one or the other (through involuntary thinking and their inner dialogue) … So actively reject self-hatred, and then exercise self-love.

3. Stop being harsh and judgmental and accept your imperfections. We’re all flawed and broken, and we all make mistakes.

4. Start enjoying who you are and being alone with yourself. Embrace solitude, and the chance to be with “you”.

5. Think of all the different things you’re grateful for in life, and the people who have loved you, and have seen the good in you. As you do that, you will start to value who, and what, you are.

TJ

Christmas is Over, now what?

Soulmate...

You never know how many things

had to happen exactly right
for you to meet the one you love,
You never know how easily

fate might have tipped you

onto some other course,
meeting some other person,

who would feel like a soulmate.

Maybe you'd still be telling those you know

it was always meant to be,
As if you knew all along

that your paths would cross.

Or maybe you'd look back at your life

and realize:
it was nothing personal,

it's all just a coincidence.

You never know.

Or do you?

TJ

Oh, The Sky Is Falling! Really?

When we predict how long we will feel about some event, we tend to over-estimate the duration of the emotional impact. Whatever our emotions, although we have ups and downs, we tend to return to a neutral 'home' position within a relatively short time. 

Because of our Durability Bias we tend to overestimate the length and/or the intensity of how we will feel about something in the future. This may be caused by focalism (def - a cognitive bias that describes the common human tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information offered (the "anchor") when making decisions.), where people focus too much on the event in question and not enough on other future events.

Research has discovered that football fans were less likely to over-predict how long the outcome of a football game would influence their happiness if they first thought about how much time they would spend on other future activities.

I think about how I would feel if my wife left me. I suspect I would feel very upset and believe I would feel this way for a long time to come. The fact that I might meet someone else before long and change how I feel does not come into my thinking. (If my wife is reading, this is JUST an EXAMPLE :))

What do we do to get past this faulty thinking?

Getting people to think about other events that will happen in the future and how they will react to these will reduce their misperception about how long feelings about current events might last.

You can also do this by getting people to think only about the over-arching impact of a desirable/undesirable event and how long the feelings about this will last.

When thinking about how long you will feel about something, think about the possibilities of other events changing how you feel right now.

If it all sounds contorted and/or complicated it’s not.

We can sum it up in this way: 

Do not let the temporary distract you from the long-term. 

When you were young breaking up with a girl/boy friend seemed like the end of the world. 

Did it actually end?

Just asking… 

TJ