When you’re feeling overwhelmed it’s
hard to believe that your life will ever change, or you’ll ever be able to
smile or laugh again. But the truth is you will – it won’t always be this bad –
and there are things you can do to help you move on with your life:
1. Decide to face your pain.
An unresolved past never really goes away. You may think you have buried your
anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface later on. If you
don’t face what happened, and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being
ruled by your subconscious mind. So try and find the courage to revisit all the
pain.
2. Accept there’s nothing you can
do to change the past. What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is
done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time, or to rewrite
the story so the ending’s happier. But you can change how you think, and you
can start over again, and build a different future that’s not poisoned by the
past.
3. Be grateful for the good times.
There’s usually something good that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to
pretend that everything was bad – or write off any good times and happy
memories.
4. Consciously let go and set
your focus on the future - Don’t let the baggage, or the failures of the
past, affect your identity or self esteem. You are NOT what you did, or how you
acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are
valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your
future; you control your destiny.
5. Remove your past from your
future. We all have a tendency to think that the past will morph into our
future – and become our lot in life. But that doesn’t have to happen. The
future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations – and work towards
those goals. Instead, look hard for the exceptions – the times when things went
right – and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those
same strengths, skills and great qualities.
6. Be realistic and take small
steps at first. You can’t snap your fingers - and find that life has
changed. Accept it will take time, and you will still have some bad days – but
if you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.
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