Do You Really Know You???

Individuals may be better understood when viewed through time. The best way might be to build (writing / putting together) a life-history, our own or of someone else, that can act as the glue that connects seemingly separate events in a coherent story. It is a thread of time that connects and creates a sense of one-ness, explaining the present and future in relation to the past.

When we think of life-histories, we almost always think in terms of a biography. The problem with biographies is that a description from one viewpoint of a life-history can never completely describe all events. It can, however, act to communicate a coherent perception even though there may be plenty of misunderstanding and illusion remaining.

Autobiographies are also flawed in that while they may or may not be honest, it is a singular viewpoint from 'inside the machine' that can never be objective. They do, however, give meaning to the individual as they stitch together events and find personal meaning.

Bourdieu (1987) notes that constructing a life-history has less to do with being a reflection of life itself, but more to do with being a technique for reconstructing experience, a device for producing the experience of self as being in harmony. He also believes that while the 'unified-self' is not a complete illusion, it neither is natural nor fundamentally human. Society includes many individualizing methods.

As an example, he describes a person's name like this:

"The proper name is the visible affirmation of the identity of the bearer across time and space, the basis of the unity of one's successive manifestations, and of the socially accepted possibilities of integrating these manifestations in official records, curriculum vitae, cursus honorum, police record, obituary, or biography which constitute life as a finite sum through the verdict given in a temporary or final reckoning." (Bourdieu, 1987)

The life-history 'illusion' is that a proper name refers to a group of features or traits that define the permanent core of a 'self' that exists before the history. 

Bourdieu claims that no such basis exists, and that legal, governmental and beautiful personalities are not related, therefore making it difficult to identify a single 'person'. In the legal sense, many attributes of the person are conferred rather than are intrinsic.

What would your life-history look like?

Have you ever thought about it?

Would you like to better understand who you really are???

TJ

Works Cited:

Bourdieu, P. (1987). The biographical illusion. Working Papers and Proceedings of the Centre for Psychosocial Studies (Univ. of Chicago) 14, 1-7

Who Are You???

We all have a need for a sense of identity, of who we are and our place in the world. This is not always easy and we may be challenged in many ways. There are also inner conflicts that make settling on who we really are a difficult process.

Boundaries?

For anything to exist, it must be separate somehow from its environment. It needs a boundary that lets us know what is a part of it and what is not a part of it. Likewise, to know our own selves we need to pull away from the world to find our boundaries.

Problem?

A conflict here is that we need the world around us and other people to create this separation. I need to know what denotes a tree so I know I am not a tree. And I need you to know I am not you. Yet knowing you creates a connection with you, so I am not separate.

Another point of tension occurs where we are unsure of who we are and cannot isolate a single, separate self, the 'real me', from the many 'me's of multiple identity. It is common to feel you have more than one personality, in particular ones which are tied to different contexts and feelings, hence the work self, the home self, the stressed self, the angry self and so on. The question 'Who am I?' is often asked and often not fully answered.

Integrated selves?

We are social and spiritual creatures. We like to have friends, live in society and feel a part of something greater than ourselves. We define ourselves through our connections, even seeing ourselves as others see us.

Conflict?

This creates a conflict where the more we connect, the more we place our identity outside, the more our boundaries erode and the less distinct our identities become. To equally be like other people and to be different

Heart of The Issue?

A dilemma of identity is that it is reflexive, that we need an 'I' to define the 'I', which makes 'I' impossible to fully identify.

We also have an infant history of early warm bonding and unity out of which the sense of separation emerged. This leaves a sustaining tension to re-unite with others and the world, while the sense of self (and the control this gives) is too important to give up.

The most important issue is how to sustain a separate, autonomous self while connecting with others and immersing ourselves in the world.

'Letting go' can be immensely joyful yet we need our self to know that pleasure.

Separation and unity are ultimately related to the sense of control and create another tension here, as being separate allows personal choice, yet together we can achieve so much more.

Why Does It Matter?

We need to help people discover themselves by exploring their boundaries, of who they are and who they are not. This includes looking at basic drivers such as beliefs, models, values, goals and so on.

Talk about what is important for them and how they relate to others.

Help them let go of past things so they can look forward to the 'new me'.

You can also challenge people who do bad things by asking 'Is that the real you?'

Few people want to be thought of as bad and so may change their selves (and in consequence their actions).

TJ