Would you like to wreck your life?

1. Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.

2. Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let your past heartache and pain affect who you become.

3. Running away from problems. It’s pointless to bury your head in the sand and pretend that things are fine when you’re dealing with a problem. Face reality, take action and work to turn things round.

4. Being ungrateful. Being thankful sets you free in your heart and mind. It inspires all that’s good and, also, oils relationships. But an ungrateful person will wear others down. It destroys your spirit, and it saps your energy.

5. Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive and bearing grudges against others will slowly poison our personality. It’s much better to release them and to focus, instead, on living a happy and fulfilling life.

6. Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to plan – and people disappoint us and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.

7. Disrespecting yourself and others. Every single person deserves respect, and every single person is fighting their own battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving.

8. Neglecting important relationship. A relationship that’s built on unconditional love – where a person accepts us for who and what we are – is truly a gift and is worth fighting for. Don’t take it for granted – recognize that it’s a gift.

9. Loving people who are bad for us. Not every person will build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down, or who want to hurt you, or destroy your confidence.

10. Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, you’ll find you end up going nowhere. You must be ready and willing to take risks. If you don’t, you may regret it as you’ll miss so much in life.

Nemo sine vitio est.  

Translation: "No one is without fault."

t

How we Express Love

The Five Languages of Love

Everyone has a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. This will vary from person to person, but will usually be just one (or two) of the following:

1. Words of Affirmation - If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time - Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts - Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. 

4. Acts of Service - Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch - A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Source: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ (abridged)

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4 Tickets to Christmas _ The Movie

4 Tickets to Christmas from FBC-TV 16 on Vimeo.

Do you have MOMENTUM? Why not?

Here are 7 reasons most churches aren’t growing

Why don’t churches who say they want to reach unchurched people actually reach unchurched people?

Here are 7 reasons most churches aren’t growing:

1. Your desire to reach unchurched people is an intention, not a strategy. You’re basically doing what you’ve always been doing and hoping for different results. Wanting people to attend and creating a church unchurched people love to attend are two very different things. If you haven’t made radical changes to how you do church, don’t expect radically different results.

2. You’ve ended up in No-Man’s Land by trying to please everyone.  Your church is too contemporary to make insiders happy and your approach is still too dated, irrelevant and unengaging to capture the imagination of unchurched people. You’ve made as many changes as you think you can navigate without alienating your existing membership, but not brought about nearly enough change to really engage outsiders. You are in no-man’s land. In an attempt to please everyone, you have pleased no one.

3. Your real vision is about you. On the wall, your vision is about Jesus, the Kingdom and the world, but down the hall your reality about how to keep Mr X from writing yet another angry letter and how to appease Ms X who says your church just isn’t deep enough. You say it’s about others, but you spend all your time on insiders. Keep that up, and no matter what your mission and vision say, your church will have a vision no bigger than its (contentious) members.

4. Your people don’t know any unchurched people. This can be a real problem. How can people who attend your church invite unchurched people if they don’t know any? One of the ways to combat this is to offer very little mid week programming—mostly just community (small) groups for people to gather in, and do it  at most one night a week. People need to be at home and be a family, invite friends over, get to know their neighbours, play on community sports teams and love the cities and communities they live in. It’s a lot easier to invite unchurched friends to church when you have some. Most churches keep their ‘salt’ inside the shaker…it never actually touches any food.

5. You speak insider. If unchurched people show up, you confuse them by the way you speak. If they have to learn a secret code to understand what people in the hall way are saying or what’s being said from the front (sanctification is a process of regeneration led by the Holy Spirit), they’ll leave. Talk like normal people. Be clear.  Remember, being unclear does not make you deep. It just makes you unclear.

6.  You judge them.  If you start reaching unchurched people they’re going to look like, well, unchurched people. Their lifestyle will be different. Sex won’t just be for married people. You’ll deal with addictions, family break-down, competing ideas about who God is and much more.  Stop judging. Start loving. Very few people get judged into life change; many of us get loved into life change. Start with judgment and they’re gone. And apparently, Jesus will be upset too.

7. You’re not sure what to do with them when they get there. You have no clear steps. No environments designed with new people in mind. You don’t know how to engage their questions, to walk with them. Even if they come, they probably won’t stick around if you can’t lead them into a relationship with Jesus Christ.


That’s what I’ve seen as I’ve talked with, and observed, many churches and church leaders. 

t

Do you have a Christmas Story to tell???

#comeback #comeback



t

The Creative Process - Divergence and Convergence

In creative work, there are two modes of thinking that we use that are very different, but are both very useful for different parts of the process.

Divergence

Divergence is the process of thinking broadly, of expanding one's mind, of going places where one does not normally go. In fact it is very much what most people think about when they consider creativity.

Social variation

Divergent thinking is very important in creativity as the process whereby ideas are generated. Although everyone can do it, some take to it more easily and find idea creation (sometimes called ideation) both natural and fun.
For others, it is something more of an effort, both to create the ideas and also to get over the internal blocks that prevent them from telling others about their half-formed ideas.
The fear of social punishment and ridicule keeps many from even admitting to themselves that they could be good at divergent thinking.

Quantity first

Divergent ideation creates a constant flow of ideas, no matter how good or bad they are (and without even a thought about this), with the knowledge that they will be sorted out in the subsequent convergent activity.

Convergence

When you have created a big pile of ideas, the creative activity does not stop there. The next stage, which can be very difficult, seeks to thin down the idea set into a very small set of ideas (maybe one) that will be taken forward for further development.

Judgement and Selection

This approach requires skills of selection, evaluation and judgement to whittle down the list to the most useful ideas. In this process, there can be argument and debate about the true potential of ideas.

Retaining creative seeds

A danger here is that the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater, as good ideas are thrown out with the bad. It is important here to keep a balance, and the divergent thinkers have an important task to challenge the ejection of any ideas that may have serious potential.

Keeping them separate

Have you ever been in a thinking session (creative or otherwise) and seen two groups of people crossing swords, where one group are constantly trying to keep the exploration open, whilst the other group is trying to come to a closure point and get a decision made? Maybe you were in one of these two groups.

The dangers of simultaneity

Divergent and convergent activities do not go well together, and keeping them deliberately separate is a very good idea. Thus you can explain the principles to people you will then be able to use the language, saying 'excuse me, I hear convergence' if someone starts criticising ideas in the middle of a divergent session.
Likewise in convergent sessions, further divergence needs to be carefully managed. It is, however, more important to keep convergence out of divergent activities, as people easily take criticism of one of their ideas personally and may just clam up and sit back if they feel this has happened.

How to keep them separate

Separation can be achieve in several ways. You can separate the sessions by having one after the other (this is most common).
You can also separate them further in time (eg. to give space for more ideas to be generated by incubation first).
You can have different groups of people diverging and converging.
You can change location for each - for example having the divergent session in a relaxed lounge and the convergent session in a formal meeting room.

Sequencing them

Divergence and convergence are not a one-shot thing in serious creativity and invention practices. They constantly sequence, one after the other and form a matched pair of activities that enable you to both think broadly and also stay focused.
Thus you may diverge and converge in problem identification, idea exploration, product development, market planning, etc.




Quidquid agis, prudenter agas, et respice finem!
"Whatever you do, may you do it prudently, and look to the end!"

T