We are Different, but We are not so Different

Personality can be delineated from many different, and almost mind numbing views. It can be said to be the logical outcome of genetics, the environment, learned responses, parental influence, conscious and unconscious factors in the mind, and even as something that develops over time.

Personality Theory Overview

The total personality is the combination of many factors, all of which are developmentally connected, changing, but, for the most part, stable throughout the lifespan.

Genetically Speaking

We all have a universal, made in the image of God, genetic connection, but we also have a specific heredity that we receive from our parents. As much as we like to think our individuality is like that of a snowflake, it is truly amazing how similar we really are in view of our dispositions. Genetics actually tie us together more than distinguish us from one another. So close together are we that with all the theories available, the “experts” can only come up with five genetic variables at best. Some even have them narrowed to three. Although we can be grouped by our emotional, social, and active tendencies, these do not in and of themselves completely define our personality. They may describe our dispositions, but they do not describe who we can be. We are different, but we are not so different.

 

Learning

Learning is where the formation of a personality really begins. Operant Conditioning, Classical Conditioning, Observational Learning, or whatever name we use, the social forces acting upon us and our response to them shape our personality into a firm foundation. Not only what we learn, but how we learn it is vital to the process. Often how we learn leads to success or failure in life. If we learn in an environment that is positive or response is more than likely going to be positive. In a negative environment, the inverse would be true in many cases. There are exceptions to just about every rule we could come up with, but overall this is born out more often than not. Good reinforcement for good behavior lends itself to the repetition of the desired behavior. Negative reinforcement in response to bad behavior will usually curb the undesirable behavior. These factors are pivotal in the next area of influence on the development of the personality.

 

Parental Factors

How we relate to our parents, and how our parents relate to us is paramount in solidifying the genetic and learning factors that contribute to our overall personality. Parenting, when don well, will produce desirable results, but parenting, when done poorly, can have devastating effects. Children shown love, affection, guidance, and encouragement will generally retain those ideas as traits and pass them to the next generation. Homes without these essentials are, at best, just some place to live, but are devoid of life. Lyndon Johnson’s idea of taking care of those in our society who, would not take care of themselves, is probably one of the best and worst images we can use to see the value in parenting. Nothing external can replace responsible parenting. Government can give housing, food, and money (Maslow would be proud) but the parenting style will not change from external enticement. Where we come from, how and what we learn, and how we are raised by our parents provide the foundation, walls, and roof that we use to house our personality. The weather outside that house is what we will consider the final element of personality.

 

Environmental Factors

If the prior three areas compose our personality structure, the environmental factors are what we use to keep it up to date. Personality can change. With each new experience we have our personality grows. Sometimes it grows positively like overcoming a fear or phobia, and in not so positive ways like large scale social events that cause our lives to be disrupted. 

 

With each new experience comes new insight. That insight accumulates over a lifetime and makes us who we are.

 

The Bible on Conditioned Behavior

The Bible teaches condition as part of our personality development. Our ultimate reward is Heaven. The book of Proverbs gives us the positive and negative consequences to our behavior. 

 

External is Good, Internal is Bad

In the master plan there are really on two types of people. There are those who have put their faith in Jesus Christ, and those who have not. Everyone we meet will fit into one of those categories, and their personality will usually be a reflection of the category they inhabit.

Where we look for strength, guidance, and wisdom will determine the path to dysfunction or transcendence. Conventional wisdom tells us to look within ourselves for these things. God tells us to focus on Him, and to look to Him for answers. This is where I part company with many theories. 

 

Conclusion

I will go back to the beginning where I stated; we are created in the image of God and now add that sin is the cause of the divisions we refer to as types, traits, and dysfunctions. Transcendence for us will only be found when we are at peace with God. That means we can only be at peace with ourselves when we are at peace with God. Nothing will be perfect this side of heaven, but gaining peace with God through Jesus Christ is the beginning of the healing therapy. Then we move to substantial healing in our relationship within ourselves, and then with those around us. 

 

How different are we? We are all over the map. 

 

Like those lines that represent the roads all over the map we are part of the same page.

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WHAT DO GREAT LEADERS HAVE IN COMMON?

In leadership, confusion reigns until someone makes things clear. Clarity is what great leaders bring to the table.

The leaders who make the most progress make the fewest excuses. And the leaders who make the most excuses make the least progress.

If you think small you will stay small. If you think it’s not possible, it won’t be.

Great leaders are continually assessing and reassessing how they spend their time, energy and resources.

How you speak to yourself matters. Rather than saying “I can’t” (even internally), great leaders instead say “I won’t”.

Self-discipline is simply taking responsibility for your actions, health, attitudes, schedule, words, mistakes and decisions.

The greatest leaders in the corporate world are…humble. They are determined, but they’re not selfish. Jesus would agree. They believe in a cause greater than themselves and serve the organization or cause they’re a part of. They don’t expect it to serve them. If you want to be great, die to yourself.

The greatest bosses realize their employees don’t work for them, they work for their employees.

Early risers do better in life. They’re happier, healthier and more productive.

Great leaders are rarely late. This is another simple leadership discipline that can get you far.

The best leaders take time off. They don’t work 24/7. They realize they have limits and they respect them.


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Kevin Jackson Receives The Student Coach Award

10 Traits that Lead to Success

1. Independence

2. Self-confidence

3. Persistence

4. Creative thinking

5. Being thick skinned

6. Knowing who you are and what you want from life

7. Setting clear goals – and going after them 

8. Staying focused

9. Optimism

10. Passion for life.

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Finding Your Passion

1. You need to experiment with lots of things.

2. It takes time to discover your true passion in life.

3. What interests you now might not turn into a passion.

4. However, you’ll find that you return to what you’re passionate about.

5. It will take over your thinking when you’re silent or daydreaming.

6. Investing in your passion will give meaning to your life.


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Ideas are perceptions of our minds

John Locke

“True and False Ideas”

“Ideas are perceptions of our minds,” (1) writes John Locke as he begins this essay. Throughout this essay he is trying to make the point that, ideas that are resident within the mind, and therefore they cannot be, in and of themselves, true or false.

He goes on to state that though ideas contained within the mind are not true or false, can be true or false when there is an external referent present. He bases his point on how he classifies experiences. He writes form the foundation he has build of two kinds of experiences, the first called Sensation, and the second called Reflection. He then begins to discuss ideas as being Simple or Complex. Locke concludes that the more simple the idea, the better chance that it is true. In contrast he believes that the more complex a thought becomes, the greater differentiation provides more opportunity for the idea to be false. He states several examples, but for the sake of brevity this information will be omitted for this short work.

Locke writes that real ideas reside within the framework of three classifications, first, agreed upon standards of true and false if the idea expressed correctly. Second, he calls upon the correspondence view of truth or falsehood. Does the idea refer to something tangible or does it refer to something that is not. Third, he mentions ideas without solid foundation can also be understood as true or false.

Although Locke subscribes to the “Blank Slate” theory of the mind at birth, he does believe the natural bent of the mind is to acquire knowledge. The overall thought contained in his argument is, for ideas to be true they require proper names (agreed upon) and a tangible referent. Ideas act as the bridge that connects these ideas in order to produce truthful statements.


Although I do not normally ascribe to the large volume of ideas presented by John Locke, this particular essay interested me. Locke, within the convoluted grammar of his day, expresses one of the most important ideas used in defense of Christianity. He engages the correspondence view of the truth as he argues his many points. I believe he puts forward the idea that truth is not based on intentions, ideas simply in the mind. I also believe he understands that no matter how complex the idea might be complexity alone is not evidence of truth. I agree with Locke when he asserts that an idea is truthful when it has an external referent, something tangible to the senses.

When discussing Christian ideas with people who do not believe, I find this argument very effective. If we can point people to what one writer calls “true truth,” it helps to erode the walls and barriers to faith. There may be different ways to come to the conclusion of whether an idea is true or false, but there is only one accurate way to define truth. That is to look back and find the referent. When a person acts in a way that does not reflect Biblical standards is there a real consequence?

Two objections are usually offered when we try to evaluate the truthfulness of an idea. Those objections are Relativism and Agnosticism. Both of these ideas can be shown to be patently false based on the idea that if they are correct, then they are self-defeating. To have an idea in the mind that says we cannot know truth, by definition is a truth claim no matter how simple the idea might be. Therefore, to assume some idea about the reality of God, in order to claim the idea as false, is self-defeating.

Having said all of that, Locke added the very dangerous thought subjectivity to empiricism through his concept of ideas. Truth must be based on objective facts. To introduce subjectivity is to introduce the possibility of falsehood.


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Success

1. It will hurt.

2. It will take time and effort.

3. It will require commitment.

4. It will require perseverance.

5. You will need to keep on making healthy decisions.

6. It will require pain and sacrifice.

7. You will need to push yourself to the max at times.

8. There will be tough days and discouragement.

9. There will be temptations that you’ll have to push against.

10. But it will all be worth it.

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NEVER GIVE UP

Why?

1. As long as you’re alive it’s worth the fight and effort – While you are still breathing you still have the chance, and the choice, to keep trying until you succeed.

2. Remember to be patient and realistic – It takes time to learn skills and to master something new. Be patient with yourself. It’s a journey not a race. Mistakes are normal; they don’t mean that you’re a failure.

3. You are stronger than you think – You can handle differentsetbacks; you have the fight and drive to keep on persevering until you reach your goal. Don’t underestimate your will and energy.

4. Prove who you are: You’re a winner not a quitter - You don’t want to be known as someone who gives up. So go out there and show them that you’ve got what it takes.

5. If someone else has done it you can do it, too. You know that it is possible. It’s not an empty dream. Plan your journey, break the goal down – and you’ll get there in the end.

6. Believe In Your Dreams – Don’t fall for the lie that it’s all a waste of time. You can be that person who gets the life they want!!

7. There are others in a worse situation than you – Yes - It’s easy for some people; they have more advantages. But there are also other people who are much worse off than you. Don’t be a helpless victim – write the script for your own life.

8. It’s time to prove the naysayers wrong - There will always be people who will try to pull you down. Ignore what they tell you; keep believing in yourself.

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Gaps and Motivation

A simple way of understanding motivation is to consider the gaps that act to drive us.
A gap requires two things, between which that gap can exist. For motivation, this can include such as:

• What is and what could be
• What was and what is
• What I want and what I do not want
• What I have got and what I have not got

Leon Festinger described Cognitive Dissonance, where the gap between two conflicting thoughts lead us to seek ways of reducing this. When we simultaneously think about what we want and about what we actually have, we feel a similar discomfort, often as a physical tension.

Disagreement gaps

Gaps are also the driver for disagreement between people. Where our internal motivators are different from others, then we will disagree with them.

If we have a values gap with others, then we may consider them bad and immoral in some way, or perhaps that they are overly-concerned with something that we find relatively unimportant. And they might think the same as us. 

If we have a beliefs gap, then we will disagree on what it true and false. One person may say that something happens like this, whilst the other says it happens like that. Or one says X exists whilst the other says X does not exist.

In a goals gap, I may be seeking to achieve something, but in working towards this, I am preventing you from reaching your goals.

In a commitment gap, I am concerned about the gap between what you have promised to do and what you are actually doing (or are likely to do). People in business spend a lot of time managing such gaps.
 

To persuade people, there are two things you can do.

Decrease distracting gaps

First, recognize that they are already motivated into doing other things, which means they already have some gaps that are motivating them. So in order to get attention space, find ways of removing the gaps that already exist. 

Solve their problems. Help remove their distractions. Help them reach their goals.
You should also reduce gaps around beliefs and values, such that you can find more agreement. Beliefs can thus be traded -- if I agree with one of your truths, will you accept one of mine?

Create and increase the right gaps

When you have their attention (and perhaps at the same time as decreasing the distractions), you can then start making new gaps. Point out things that had not noticed. Show how important things are. Show the implications of not doing what you want them to do. And so on.


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Aristotle's Motivation

Aristotle's Seven Causes

Aristotle said in his book, Rhetoric:

'Thus every action must be due to one or other of seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reasoning, anger, or appetite.'

Within this, he notes that all actions are due either to emotion or reason and that we seek pleasant things and act to reduce pain, thus predating Freud's pleasure-pain principle by over 2000 years.

Chance

Chance events affect us all the time and, although some have little effect in changing what we do, a number of others force us to act or otherwise motivate us into action.

'The things that happen by chance are all those whose cause cannot be determined, that have no purpose, and that happen neither always nor usually nor in any fixed way.'

Nature

Natural forces are those 'originating in the body, such as the desire for nourishment, namely hunger and thirst' as well as other forces, such as to procreate.

'Those things happen by nature which have a fixed and internal cause; they take place uniformly, either always or usually.'

Compulsions

Compulsion occurs when we feel that we must act, even though we may not wish to act this way. This may be compliance with the law or dysfunctional obsessive-compulsive behavior.

'Those things happen through compulsion which take place contrary to the desire or reason of the doer, yet through his own agency.'

Habit

Habit is unthinking action, and Aristotle said 'Acts are done from habit which men do because they have often done them before.' Whilst compulsion is unpleasant and un-useful repetition of action, habit is pleasant and generally useful.

'Habit, whether acquired by mere familiarity or by effort, belongs to the class of pleasant things, for there are many actions not naturally pleasant which men perform with pleasure, once they have become used to them.'

Reasoning

Aristotle points out that rational and reasoned action are to defined ends, achieving something that serves personal goals.

'Actions are due to reasoning when, in view of any of the goods already mentioned, they appear useful either as ends or as means to an end, and are performed for that reason.'

He also notes that when we act in a way that we believe to be rational then we also believe that it is good.

'Rational craving is a craving for good, i.e. a wish -- nobody wishes for anything unless he thinks it good. Irrational craving is twofold, viz. anger and appetite.'

Anger

Sometimes interpreted as 'passion', anger can lead to extreme action.

Anger is closely related to revenge, and anger curiously lessens when there is no prospect of vengeance.

'To passion and anger are due all acts of revenge...no one grows angry with a person on whom there is no prospect of taking vengeance, and we feel comparatively little anger, or none at all, with those who are much our superiors in power.'

Aristotle notes that 'angry people suffer extreme pain when they fail to get their revenge'. Applying the pain-reduction principle, then perhaps it is not surprising that anger reduces in such circumstances.

Appetite

Sometimes interpreted as 'desire', appetite is 'craving for pleasure'.

Whilst anger serves negative motivation, 'Appetite is the cause of all actions that appear pleasant'.

Aristotle pointed out that wealth or poverty is not a cause of action, although the appetite for wealth may well motivate.

'Nor, again, is action due to wealth or poverty; it is of course true that poor men, being short of money, do have an appetite for it, and that rich men, being able to command needless pleasures, do have an appetite for such pleasures: but here, again, their actions will be due not to wealth or poverty but to appetite.'

These are all motivations that drive people in different ways, and some people are more affected by some causes than by others. 

If you can understand how the causes affect people in specific ways, then you may be better able to influence them and motivate them effectively.  

Aristotle, Rhetoric, Book 1, Chapter 10

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