Living Life...

While you're in it, life seems epic. Fiery, tenuous, and unpredictable. But once you have some distance from it, everything seems to shrink, until it's almost out of focus.

When you look back over your life, or try to put it down on paper, You can see more of it now than ever before. And yet it seems somehow diminished. Humble. Almost old-fashioned. So you begin scanning your life, looking for something interesting or beautiful. You see an ordinary house, with an ordinary yard, on an ordinary street. It looks smaller than you remember. You once had wild dreams and obstacles and risks looming all around you, but now they look smaller too.

You remember giants and goddesses and villains, but all you see is ordinary people assembled in their tiny classrooms and work-spaces, each of us moving around in little steps, like tokens on a game board. No matter how many times you rolled the dice, it was always these little moves, here and there. Do a little work. Take a little rest. Make a little friend. Throw a little party. Feel a little boredom. Have a little rebellion. There are so many of these token moments that were supposed to represent some other thing. You keep adding them all up, as if there was something you forgot to count, some stash of glory that fell off the back of a truck.

You may love the life you have for everything it is, and even though you know it isn't groundbreaking; you wouldn't change a thing. Maybe when you first started building the life you wanted, you left plenty of room for what might happen, and somehow lost track of what was happening.

Or maybe you were never 'in it' to begin with. Maybe you knew even then that this wasn't the world you expected. A world so low and common you tried to keep your distance, floating somewhere above it, where nobody else could look down on this life you built.

Nobody else but you.

kj 

Looking Back on Your Life...

While you're in them, seasons of life seem extraordinary.  Fiery, fragile, and erratic. But once you have some distance from them, the moments seem to get smaller, until they are almost out of focus.

When you look back over your life, you can see more of it now than ever before. And yet it seems somehow diminished. Unassuming. Almost charming.

So you begin scanning your life, looking for something interesting or beautiful. You see an ordinary house, with an ordinary yard, on an ordinary street. It looks smaller than you remember. You once had wild dreams and obstacles and risks looming all around you, but now they look smaller too.

You remember giants and goddesses and villains you encountered, but all you see now is ordinary people assembled in their tiny classrooms and workspaces, each of us moving around in little steps, like tokens on a game board. No matter how many times you rolled the dice, it was always these little moves, here and there.

We do a little work, take a little rest, make a little friend, throw a little party, feel a little boredom, and have a little rebellion. There are so many of these token moments, that were supposed to represent some other thing. You keep adding them all up, as if there was something you forgot to count, some bundle of glory that fell off the back of a truck.

You may love the life you have, for everything it is. You know it isn't groundbreaking, but you wouldn't change a thing. Maybe when you first started building the life you wanted, you left plenty of room for what might happen, and somehow lost track of what was happening.

Or maybe you were never 'in it' to begin with. Maybe you knew even then that this wasn't the world you expected. A world so low and common you tried to keep your distance, floating somewhere above it, where nobody else could look down on this life you built.

Nobody else but you.

TJ

When You’re Trying to Figure out your Life Remember...

We can't predict the future; we don’t know what lies ahead. All we can ever do is try to figure out a plan. 

Our friends and our parents don’t know the future either. Our life is OURS to live – don’t let ANYONE plan it for you. 

Enjoy what’s happening now; hang out, and do things with your friends...make the most of “now”. 

Uncertainty and change are a big – normal – part of life. So, learn to become comfortable with “not knowing right now.” 

Procrastination, although common, can really stop you from succeeding. Just take a step and act – regardless of the way you feel. 

 
You need to learn to focus – and ignore all distractions – otherwise, you’ll never really progress or succeed. 
 

Life is full of lots of chances – you can usually try again – or try another option if you mess things up this time.

TJ

Put the Past in the Past

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with your sadness and loss, it’s hard to believe that your life will ever change, or you’ll ever be able to smile or laugh again. But the truth is you will – it won’t always be this bad – and there are things you can do help move on with your life:

Decide to face your pain.

An unresolved past never really goes away. You may think you have buried your anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface down the road. If you don’t face what happened, and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being ruled by your subconscious mind. So, try and find the courage to revisit the pain.

  

Accept there’s nothing you can do to change the past.

What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time, or to rewrite the story so the ending’s happier. But you can change how you think, and you can start over again, and build a different future that’s not poisoned by the past.

Be grateful for the good times.

There’s usually something that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to pretend that everything was bad – or write off any good times and happy memories.

Consciously let go and set your focus on the future - Don’t let the baggage, or the failures of the past, affect your identity or self-esteem.

You are NOT what you did, or how you acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your future.

Remove your past from your future.

We all tend to think that the past will morph into our future and become our destiny in life. But that doesn’t have to happen. The future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations and work towards those objectives. Instead, look hard for the exceptions, the times when things went right, and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those same strengths, skills and great qualities.

Be realistic and take small steps at first.

You can’t snap your fingers - and find that life has changed. Accept it will take time, and you will still have some bad days, but if you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.

TJ