Private Lives?

So much of our lives are kept in boxes. Boxes, closets, or whatever we call these isolated, dark, and private spaces. No one is truly known to anyone. We all have parts of our lives that are known only to us. Little things we do every day that might seem weird, strange, or maybe even disgusting to to others often seem commonplace to us. Our habits, morning rituals, medical issues, personal grooming routine, and all sorts of things are some of those things we do not share. So we all have "hidden lives".

Sometimes a little light creeps in and exposes those "hidden things" to the world around us. These moments usually pass with a small amount of embarrassment and discomfort. Soon all is forgotten and life moves on. We continue to live our lives just as before. 

The question that comes to mind concerning all of this is, why aren't all things that are locked away, and are 100% personal in nature, treated the same?

 

KJ

Life Changes...Just Like That

Do You Feel Stuck? Why?

1. Believing negative, unproductive and self-defeating thoughts. These include thoughts like “I could never … I’m not good enough to … I don’t deserve to … I’m useless at …”

2. Blaming others. It’s true that other people can have a huge affect on what happens to us, and where we are in life. But we give them too much power if we let them set our course, and see ourselves as victims, and act like we’ve no power.

3. Taking ourselves too seriously. It’s important to work hard and to have integrity – but we also have to laugh and enjoy ourselves as well. Also, decide to let things go, and put up with some mistakes. You’re not a perfect person and, the truth is - that’s OK!

4. Being afraid to take some risks or to live close to the edge. To have an interesting life you must leave your comfort zone and say “yes” to some new chances and opportunities. It will broaden your perspective, reduce anxiety, and provide you with new options and possibilities.

5. Being afraid of change. It doesn’t take much effort to stick with what you know. The unknown can seem daunting as we don’t know where that leads! But we grow as individuals and lead a richer life if we learn to accept changes, instead of being scared.

TJ 

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We All Wear Masks

 

Our true identity is often hidden behind the masks we wear.

Masks contain complete social representations of who we are.

Others look at the mask each of us is wearing and understands what it represents, and they know what mask to wear themselves.

We have all seen a masked formal ball in a movie or on television.

Each person wearing a mask and dancing with one another with each person’s true-self safely concealed beneath.

Masks protect us and facilitate our interaction with others.

We each wear a specially chosen mask in different situations to be the people we want, or in some cases need, to be.

Masks may be provided by others who want to force people into various cultural roles.

Masks provide a position of safety as we hide our anxieties behind masks of power and security.

We wear layers of masks, so that if one is removed, the true-self is not found beneath, but just another mask.

There is nothing new about the metaphor of wearing masks. We wear them to protect our vulnerable inner true-selves. We also need to fit in with society and wear masks that project social conformance. 

Masks can, and very often they do, lie as we try to hide our true-selves. It only seems fair to wear misleading masks to help insure our protection and acceptance. They are useful as positive forms of coping mechanisms that help us to handle the difficulties of social life.

Who are you under that mask...really...who are you?

 

TJ

 

 

 

The Truth About Life …

Things never, ever go according to your plan because you’ll always have unexpected snags and obstacles. There are unforeseen things that will pop up, at the most inopportune moments, and send you in a direction you never expected to go.

Not everyone will like you or want to be your friend and that is okay. Really, it is okay to not be friends with everyone. It is hard enough to tell real friends from false friends until a need arises and they are no where to be found or they toss you aside when you are no longer useful to them.

We all lose motivation and want to ditch our dreams. Remember this, success is transitory – the happiness you feel when you are winning will pass. However, that is the moment that truly successful people step up and keep moving forward.

We all get disappointed and let down by our friends, but remember, attitude is everything – we choose how to react. There’s always something good, if we will only look for it. Life is full of chances, new beginnings and fresh starts.

It is never too late to be who you might have been.

TJ

How to Start Loving Who You Are

1. Start by being kind and gentle with yourself. There are plenty of people who would love to criticize … So be your own protector and your own best friend.

2. Choose self-love over self-hatred. Many people find they drift back and forth between these two extremes – but over time gravitate more towards one or the other (through involuntary thinking and their inner dialogue) … So actively reject self-hatred, and then exercise self-love.

3. Stop being harsh and judgmental and accept your imperfections. We’re all flawed and broken, and we all make mistakes.

4. Start enjoying who you are and being alone with yourself. Embrace solitude, and the chance to be with “you”.

5. Think of all the different things you’re grateful for in life, and the people who have loved you, and have seen the good in you. As you do that, you will start to value who, and what, you are.

TJ

Can I Stay A Little Longer?

Strange how strong the instinct is, to see something incredible, and reach for a camera. As if to lend it some credibility, to prove that it's real, that 'I WAS HERE.' 

We live our lives in moments. Those rare experiences we stop to notice, and carry with us, in the hopes of stringing them together, trying to tell a story. But even in the moment, you can feel it start to fade.

 So you try to capture it, and convert it into something that will last longer than just a flash. And over time a photo feels more real than it's subject. It lets you build a version of the world that you can take with you. 

A world flattened, and simple. A world that doesn't change. That fits in the frame. A little brighter and more colorful. With everything under control. You can travel the world looking for memories, and still find yourself standing behind a camera waiting for the world to hold still. 

With every click of the shutter, you're trying to press Pause on your life. If only so you can feel a little more comfortable moving on living in a world stuck on Play. 

A part of you knows you can't take it with you but that doesn't stop you from trying.

 "What if I could stay just a little longer?" "What if we didn't have to go?" 

We try to capture moments as if we're afraid they'll escape, but they'll get away eventually. 

Take one last look. One more shot. 

So years from now you can flip back through, and try to relive it all over again.

But maybe even then, you'll be thinking to yourself, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

 

TJ